(I do not own these, not even sure where I got them. I will credit if you contact me and can prove ownership. Also. I won't be able to post again til 12/28. Thanks for reading.)
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- At lunch, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passinbg cars. See if they slow down.
- Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
- Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in".
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".
- Finish all of your sentences with "in accordance with the Prophecy".
- Don't use any punctuation.
- As often as possible, skip instead of walking.
- Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
- Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go".
- Sing along at the opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
- Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
- Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
- Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
- When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won, I won!".
- When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "tun for your lives, they're loose!".
- Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go".
